Rita Rudner (born September 17, 1953) is an American comedian. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned to stand-up comedy, where she has performed for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and...
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
—Greg Behrendt in It's Just a Date
Date someone who'll wait to make sure you get inside before driving away.
—Morgan Matson in Since You've Been Gone