Rita Rudner (born September 17, 1953) is an American comedian. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned to stand-up comedy where she has flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premier comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s.
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
—Greg Behrendt in It's Just a Date
Date someone who'll wait to make sure you get inside before driving away.
—Morgan Matson in Since You've Been Gone