With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?

About Mitch Hedberg

Mitchell Lee Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian. He was known for his one-liner comedy, characterized by surreal humor and his distinctive deadpan delivery, as well as his unconventional stage presence.

More quotations from Mitch Hedberg

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

—Mitch Hedberg

knowledge cars expertise

You know, you can't please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.

—Mitch Hedberg

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

—Mitch Hedberg

humor dreams

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

—Mitch Hedberg

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

—Mitch Hedberg

More quotations tagged with “colors”

I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.

—Vincent Van Gogh

colors night day liveliness

All colors are the friends of their neighbors and the lovers of their opposites.

—Marc Chagall

love friends neighbors colors

Wherever you go, the sky is the same color.

—Persian saying

commonality colors sky

Colors are the smiles of nature.

—Leigh Hunt

nature smiles colors

Some colors exist in dreams that are not present in the waking spectrum.

—Terri Guillemets

dreams colors awake spectrum

History

11 Jan 2016 Added