Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates… When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?

About Steven Wright

Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and film producer. He is known for his distinctive lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

More quotations from Steven Wright

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

—Steven Wright

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

—Steven Wright

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.

—Steven Wright

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

—Steven Wright

humor cars fire parking fire hydrants

When I was little I had a mood swing set.

—Steven Wright

mood mood swings humnor

History

22 Mar 2017 Added
26 Oct 2026 Wording changed

Previous wording

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?