Control's a funny thing. It comes and goes. Some days I had it, some days I didn't. It felt like every time I did something healthy, I had this in satiable need to counterbalance it by doing something unhealthy.

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

—Evan Esar

Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.

—Evan Esar

Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.

—Evan Esar

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.

—Evan Esar

Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

—Evan Esar

I think that anyone who comes upon a Nautilus machine suddenly will agree with me that its prototype was clearly invented at some time in history when torture was considered a reasonable alternative to diplomacy.

—Anna Quindlen

Nothing's better than the wind to your back, the sun in front of you, and your friends beside you.

—Aaron Douglas Trimble

I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

—Buzz Aldrin

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.

—Sir Richard Steele

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

—Joan Rivers