One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone as what is objectively healthy.
—Alain de Botton
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
—Albert Schweitzer
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
—Orson Welles
He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.
—Thomas Carlyle
If one doesn't have a character like Abraham Lincoln or Joan of Arc, a diet simply disintegrates into eating exactly what you want to eat, but with a bad conscience.
—Maria Augusta Trapp
You’ve heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? It’d go like this: You’d get the boss on the line and say, “Listen, I’ve been sick ever since I started working here, but today I’m well and I won’t be in anymore.” Call in well.
—Tom Robbins
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
—Redd Foxx
If you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both, it's health. If everything is simply jake, then you're frightened of death.
—J. P. Donleavy
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
—W. C. Fields
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
—Woody Allen
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
—Jackie Mason
Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.
—Louis C.K.
To live is like to love — all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
—Samuel Butler
What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it.
—Charles Dudley Warner
Upscale people are fixated with food simply because they are now able to eat so much of it without getting fat, and the reason they don't get fat is that they maintain a profligate level of calorie expenditure. The very same people whose evenings begin with melted goat cheese . . . get up at dawn to run, break for a midmorning aerobics class, and watch the evening news while racing on a stationary bicycle.
—Barbara Ehrenreich