I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

—Ronnie Shakes

About Ronnie Shakes

Ronnie Shakes (born Ronald Michael Sakele; February 21, 1947 – May 16, 1987) was an American stand up comedian who made seven appearances on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson from 1984 to 1987. According to his wife, Ronnie "idolized [Woody] Allen, especially his perfect lines and timing".

More quotations from Ronnie Shakes

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze, and I won't know what to say.

—Ronnie Shakes

Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.

—Ronnie Shakes

relationships purpose revenge

A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?

—Ronnie Shakes

love money marriage

I always wanted to be the last guy on Earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me.

—Ronnie Shakes

humor survival apocalypse

I like life. It's something to do.

—Ronnie Shakes

More quotations tagged with “humor”

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

—An English Professor

humor language paper

Wouldn't it be weird if the only way people could die was that their heads suddenly exploded without warning? If there was simply no other cause of death? One day you'd be sitting there having a hot chocolate, and suddenly your head would explode.

—George Carlin

humor death explosions

I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it, the better.

—George Carlin

humor silence speech

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

—Steven Wright

humor cars fire parking fire hydrants

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

humor cynicism law crime

History

24 Jan 2016 Added