It wasn't the Exxon Valdez captain's driving that caused the Alaskan oil spill. It was yours.

The middle of the road is where the white line is-and that's the worst place to drive.

—Robert Frost

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

—Dudley Moore

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.

—Steven Wright

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

—David Letterman

Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.

—Evan Esar