Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. —Rita Rudner More about this quote Tags: humor psychology Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right. —Arthur Schopenhauer More about this quote Tags: politics humor nations Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. —H. L. Mencken More about this quote Tags: honesty politics humor hatred decency Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man. —Dwight L. Moody More about this quote Tags: humor self trouble Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it. —Ellen Goodman More about this quote Tags: humor ownership money work business job normal Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? —George Carlin More about this quote Tags: humor freedom reason Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. —Pearl Bailey More about this quote Tags: love humor need paperwork Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. —Garry Shandling More about this quote Tags: humor sexuality shyness needs Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
If you lack the iron and the fuzz to take control of your own life, if you insist on leaving your fate to the gods, then the gods will repay your weakness by having a grin or two at your expense. —Tom Robbins More about this quote Tags: life power humor gods control Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights. —J. Paul Getty More about this quote Tags: humor wealth earth inheritance property rights Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others. —Diogenes More about this quote Tags: humor ownership wine Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? —Jean Kerr More about this quote Tags: humor beauty body superficiality Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. —John Lithgow More about this quote Tags: humor time Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. —Jerome K. Jerome More about this quote Tags: humor work idleness Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. —Ernest Haskins More about this quote Tags: humor saving personal finance Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email