Quodid The Ultimate Quotation Repository

Quotes about humor

Life makes fools of all of us sooner or later. But keep your sense of humor and you'll at least be able to take your humiliations with some measure of grace.

—Paul Murray in Skippy Dies

More about this quote

Tags:
life humor humility fools grace
Permalink for this quote

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

—Steven Wright

More about this quote

Tags:
humor world painting
Permalink for this quote

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

—Albert Einstein

More about this quote

Tags:
humor knowledge tradesmen
Permalink for this quote

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

—Groucho Marx

More about this quote

Tags:
humor intelligence contradiction military
Permalink for this quote

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

—Scott Adams

More about this quote

Tags:
humor fish hats
Permalink for this quote

I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.

—James Thurber

More about this quote

Tags:
humor consciousness allergy sneezing
Permalink for this quote

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

—Ambrose Bierce

More about this quote

Tags:
humor knowledge thinkingm
Permalink for this quote

Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!

—Tommy Smothers

More about this quote

Tags:
humor food meat mold
Permalink for this quote

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

—Woody Allen

More about this quote

Tags:
God humor money
Permalink for this quote

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

—Robert Frost

More about this quote

Tags:
wonder humor brain working office
Permalink for this quote

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

—Spike Milligan

More about this quote

Tags:
humor youth body
Permalink for this quote

There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.

—Peter Sellers

More about this quote

Tags:
humor self removal realness
Permalink for this quote

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

—Steven Wright

More about this quote

Tags:
humor silence mimes
Permalink for this quote

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

—Oscar Wilde

More about this quote

Tags:
humor time contemporaries
Permalink for this quote

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

—Mitch Hedberg

More about this quote

Tags:
humor rice lots
Permalink for this quote