Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. —H. L. Mencken More about this quote Tags: humor rules ten commandments laws Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life — so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls. —Matt Cartmill More about this quote Tags: humor meaning knowledge science facts Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. —Mark Russell More about this quote Tags: humor science saturn Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
OK, so what’s the speed of dark? —Steven Wright More about this quote Tags: humor light Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come. —Carl Sandburg More about this quote Tags: war humor peace progress Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? —Steven Wright More about this quote Tags: humor ownership possession Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. —Mitch Hedberg More about this quote Tags: humor blackjack gambling Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. —Anthony Burgess More about this quote Tags: humor laughter snoring Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. —Orson Welles More about this quote Tags: humor television peanuts Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
People are, if anything, more touchy about being thought silly than they are about being thought unjust. —E. B. White More about this quote Tags: justice humor Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. —Bernard Baruch More about this quote Tags: humor perception age old age Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. —G. K. Chesterton More about this quote Tags: humor enemies Bible neighbors Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. —George Carlin More about this quote Tags: humor nature camping Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it. —Jean Kerr More about this quote Tags: honesty humor mistakes Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
They call it the “American Dream” because you have to be asleep to believe it. —George Carlin More about this quote Tags: politics humor USA american dream Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email