If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect. —Ted Turner More about this quote Tags: humor perfection humility Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. —Lewis Mumford More about this quote Tags: humor USA traffic flowers Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. —e. e. cummings More about this quote Tags: humor laughter Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. —John Kenneth Galbraith More about this quote Tags: humor bad good standards Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. —Spike Milligan More about this quote Tags: humor stillness land see seasickness Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I'm what you call a teleological existential atheist. I believe there's an intelligence to the universe with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey. —Woody Allen More about this quote Tags: humor intelligence atheism New Jersey Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it. —Mark Twain More about this quote Tags: humor brotherhood camaraderie Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? —Abraham Lincoln More about this quote Tags: humor deception lying Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. —Herb Caen More about this quote Tags: humor memory Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. —Jane Caminos More about this quote Tags: humor food eating dieting Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
One of Vladimir de Pachmann's favorite tricks before a recital was to play about with the piano stool, adjusting and readjusting it, until the audience became desperate. Then he would rush into the wings to fetch a large book, place it on the seat, and try that. He would indicate that all was still not satisfactory and would tear one page from the book and try again. —Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes More about this quote Tags: humor audience piano manipulation Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert. —Demetri Martin More about this quote Tags: humor cactus desert Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. —John Updike More about this quote Tags: patience humor boredom Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. —George Bernard Shaw More about this quote Tags: life humor laughter death Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email
There is little success where there is little laughter. —Andrew Carnegie More about this quote Tags: humor laughter fun Permalink for this quote facebook twitter tumblr email