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Quotes about humor

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

—Michael Crichton

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opinion humor certainty
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A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

—Yogi Berra

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humor money
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

—Woody Allen

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humor money poverty
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The core of all humor, the reason for it all, is unhappiness.

—Bob Mankoff

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humor unhappiness dissatisfaction
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Because we are laughed at, I don’t think people really understand how essential [comedians] are to their sanity. If it weren’t for the brief respite we give the world with our foolishness, the world would see mass suicide in numbers that compare favorably with the death rate of the lemmings. I’m sure most of you have heard the story of the man who, desperately ill, goes to an analyst and tells the doctor that he has lost his desire to live and that is seriously considering suicide. The doctor listens to his tale of melancholia and then tells the patient that what he needs is a good belly laugh. He then advises the unhappy man to go to the circus that night and spend the evening laughing at Grock, the world’s funniest clown. The doctor sums it up, “After you have seen Grock, I am sure you will be much happier.” The patient rises to his feet, looks sadly at the doctor, turns and ambles toward the door. As he starts to leave the doctor says, “By the way, what is your name?” The man turns and regards the analyst with sorrowful eyes. “I am Grock.”

—Groucho Marx in Groucho And Me

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humor depression comedy suicide
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Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

—Bill Vaughan

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humor happiness money research
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And now, excuse me while I interrupt myself.

—Murray Walker

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humor
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I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

—Mitch Hedberg

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humor gravity jewelry necklaces
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

—Henny Youngman

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humor reading learning knowledge alcohol drinking
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A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

—Segal's Law

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ignorance humor time knowledge
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I never think that people die. They just go to department stores.

—Andy Warhol

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humor death shopping
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I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means.

—Oscar Wilde

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humor money death wealth
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All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.

—Bobby Knight

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humor education accomplishment writing
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

—Woody Allen

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reality fear humor dreams
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There is the view that poetry should improve your life. I think people confuse it with the Salvation Army.

—John Ashbery

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life humor poetry improvement confusion
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