Alcohol

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

—George Best

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.

—Samuel Johnson

The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.

—Esther Dyson

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.

—Robert Benchley

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

—Henny Youngman

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

—Oscar Levant

Truth can be found everywhere, even on the lips of drunkards, in the noisiest of taverns.

—Elie Wiesel

Making money ain't nothing exciting to me. You might be able to buy a little better booze than the wino on the corner, but you get sick just like the next cat, and when you die you're just as graveyard dead.

—Louis Armstrong

Ah! Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle!

—Chuck Lorre, Steven Molaro and Eric Kaplan

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

—W. C. Fields

Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.

—P. J. O'Rourke

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

—Ernest Hemingway

Ninety percent of [my salary] I spent on booze and women, and the other 10 percent I wasted.

—Tug McGraw

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

—W. C. Fields