Quotes about drinking

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

—Henny Youngman

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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.

—Robert Benchley

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

—Henny Youngman

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humor reading learning knowledge alcohol drinking

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I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

—Oscar Levant

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Truth can be found everywhere, even on the lips of drunkards, in the noisiest of taverns.

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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not.

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Ah! Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle!

—Chuck Lorre, Steven Molaro and Eric Kaplan

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I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

—W. C. Fields

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Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.

—P. J. O'Rourke

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I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.

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I'm a secretary. On a good day I type ninety-five words per minute; on a bad day I show up drunk in my pajamas.

—Mary Beth Cowan

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And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man.

—A. E. Housman

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Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

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science alcohol drinking electricity

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If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

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Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.

—Dr. Thomas Fuller

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