God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
—James Lileks
If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake—it's a glass of ice cream.
—Bill Maher in The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
—Mark Twain
If you know somethin' well, you can always paint it but people would be better off buyin' chickens.
—Grandma Moses
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.
—Sophia Loren
Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.
—Ellen DeGeneres
The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself.
—Louis C.K.
With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?
—Mitch Hedberg
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
—George Carlin
Man is a creature who lives not upon bread alone, but primarily by catchwords.
—Robert Louis Stevenson
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.
—Jose Simon
Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!
—Tommy Smothers
Never eat spinach just before going on the air.
—Dan Rather
The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.
—Peter De Vries
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
—Woody Allen